My life seems to be falling, further and further into a bottomless pit. My life is so unorganised. I have ruined my life due to laziness and procrastination and I regret it so much. Now my life is pretty much over. I have single-handidly ruined my own life. It sucks that this is the only kind of motivation that works for me. I really don't want to stay for the last year of school. It's like looking out of a window and seeing the beautiful blue sky outside, knowing you will soon be able to go out only to have someone fit metal bars onto the window. I think that I will also, very soon, be hurting and angering a lot of people. I just can't cope. Every plan for my future has been ruined and I don't know what to do. All I want is escape. I want a get out of jail free card. I can tell that everyone else got good results and I will be the only one who bombed them. I can't face the dissappointment and humiliation. I just want all of this to go away. I want to leave this country suddenly without anyone knowing I've left. Just leave everything behind and start again. Not telling anyone where I've gone. To be honest, I'm scared.

See you soon~